Not my life... to be continued

Around the beginning of May I felt really sore after S and I had sex. I would get really swollen and my discharge had a nasty look to it. Then my lips started to swell up and stayed about 4 times their normal size. When the swelling still didn't go down after a few days I went to the doctor. My mom drove me to the clinic, and by this time I was practically in hysterics. Everyone stared at me in the doctor's office with worried looks.

By this time I was in so much pain that when my doctor tried to examine me I nearly passed out. She prescribed me tons of medication, mostly to treat yeast. I was too scared to admit it, but I knew that this was more than just your average yeast infection.

I was unable to close my legs let alone walk. Going to the bathroom felt like having a burning baby made of acid. I tried to have warm baths and pee in there to ease the pain, but nothing really helped. Therefore I avoided it for as long as possible causing severe discomfort, as you can imagine. I stayed in bed, hardly moving and doped up on my dad's sleeping pills for over a week. My symptoms were taking a turn for the worse. It looked like I had either contracted leprocy on my vag or else spilled boiling water it, both of which I was certain hadn't happened. My doctor prescribed me some more creams and finally the hell on my vag began to clear up.

Around this time (about two weeks after I had first felt like something was wrong) I noticed what looked like a heat rash around my anus and surrounding area. It was super itchy! I wasn't scheduled to see the doc again for a few days, and I wasn't in too much pain anymore so I wasn't too concerned. Nothing else really happened with it except that when I went to take a poo it was a little bit uncomfortable.

I laid down on the hard examining table and displayed my healthy vag to my doc proudly! Wonderful! Clearing up nicely, she said. My doc was happy to see that my severe yeast infection had cleared up, but when I told her about my new symtoms, I knew something completely different was going on. I rolled over onto my side...

"HERPES!"

I choked, I gagged, I cried. I couldn't even roll back over on the damn table. "What, what is it my dear, there's treatment, you'll be fine!" Doc's voice sounded so far away. It fell on deaf ears. I didn't speak to her, I couldn't bring myself to look in her eyes. I just felt so much... shame. How could this happen to me? I'm safe, I'm not a whore!! I'm not even promiscuous! The word STD STD STD STD STD ran over and over in my head and I couldn't help to think of the girl in my high school who had supposedly gotten with everyone. "STD queen" they had called her.

My doc prescribed valtrex. I hid it in my jacket as I floated outside to where my stepdad was waiting by the truck. I swear I almost threw up all over him. Between gasps for air a weird, unholy screach came out of me as if I myself were speaking the devil's words. "I have.... I have... I... herpes." Oh, shit. That's all he could say. We drove silently back to my house where I threw myself on my bed. I was in denile. It was all wrong... not me, not my life.

Supposedly I was lucky, my outbreak wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. They say the first one is the worst and like I said, mine wasn't worse than a few mosquito bites. My mom seemed like she pittied me. "Have you called S," she asked, "he did this you know." I didn't say anything, just held my stranger-body close. I went and sat on the front porch, and just when I thought I was about to die, I saw a baloon. It was a shining silver in the shape of a star. The hellium made it rise in to the sky, triumphant and full, like a true shining star all the way up in outer space.